THE EAST IS READ

I reached my new port of call on the evening of the 25th. I settled into a hotel room in the city proper and in about two hours I will hop into a van and head out to the campus where my apartment for the next year waits.

My flights were alright. The airports are another matter. Actually, China Southern Airlines' domestic flights have an incredibly greedby baggage system. Only 20kgs of luggage can be checked in before they hit you with criminally high fines. I ended up forking over 500RMb because I was 20 KG over the 20KG check-in luggage. Cunts!

My hotel is alright. There's a funky smell from the bathroom drains. I simply closed the door and put an end to that. The A. C. is adequate, the location is tucked off of a main road and close enough to eateries. The bed was comfortable. The internet worked 98% of the time and was fast. The cable in this city sucks. Not as bad as Wenzhou (where 90% of hte fucking programming consisted of some schmuck standing behind a podium and yapping endlessly about stocks, history, poetry and other shit. In mandarin and in Wenzhounese. All of it mind numbing).

I wish I had my body clock set right, but since pulling an all-nighter two weeks ago I'm back on odd hours. Fucking aye! I had shit sorted and was doing well and moving fucks it up. Goddamn this bullshit genetic defect of a body I was born with.

So, most of my time was spent in the hotel: sleeping and (internet) surfing. I would rather have been out discovering the city. The one day I did venture out, I attended a tattoo convention a friend was invited to. The convention blew, he admitted as much, and I ended up spending most of that day sitting in a hotel with his shifu (“master” teacher) who is originally from Taiwan. He was polite and reserved and not particularly interesting (though he's incredibly talented, as his work proves). Things got boring and I ended up cutting out of there with enough time to hit the nearby Wal-Mart to pick up bath essentials and some batteries. I spent about 10 minutes, total, at this convention. It was on the other end of town and since I don't know this city well, I didn't cut out as early as I should have. It was a kind of pathetic situation and I feel bad because there was a more positive, last image in my previous city, but my friend (who has since returned back to the city I just left) had to see me bored out of my skull and desperate to cut out of a situation that was doing nothing but wasting time. I also didn't want to cause them to lose face by sitting around, taking up space and being quiet and bored as the Chinese tattooists shot the shit. My Chinese isn't up to understanding the majority of conversations, and I was in no mood to put my listening and speaking skills to the test. Besides, I tired to call my friend the night before, to hit the bars and enjoy dinner on the town, but they never answered their phone, and when the y did get in touch with me, I was burnt out and only wanted to explore the city on foot, not sit in a 5 star hotel room doing nothing.

So, I have to get dressed and pack up a few things, only to unpack them again. I hope I have internet access in my new apartment up and running. It will make the transition better, and late in the evening I can listen to the Howard Stern Show (airing live, in the morning, U. S. EST). I would like to pull one more big ass allnighter. I want to unpack all of my shit and get it sorted out, enjoy a good, Chinese meal (I've been subsisting on western fast food take away for four days because I don't like to eat in restaurants alone), shit, shower, and watch a movie or two before crashing out at a time that would allow me to wake up at a sane hour.

I'm off to pack. Chapter 3 is kicking in.

Oh: Michael Jackson died during this. I understand the cultural ramifications, but I have little sympathy for child molesters. I was never a huge Farrah Fawcett. She never turned me on. Jaclyn Smith was the fucktacular one, at least when I was a kid. There are hot blondes out there, but I never bought into that. I will admit that it's sad how Ms. Fawcett died (as it is with most people battling cancer). Ed McMahon: I HATED Johnny Carson and HATED The Tonight Show. The only late night host worth a damn has been David Letterman, and he hasn't been in top for for at least 14 years. Tom Snyder and Bob Costas were good in their 90s era late night slots, too, but a different can of worms. I'm glad I am not in America, where it's probably 100% Jacksonland, while North Korea remains a threat and Iran is melting down.

NOW, I'm off to pack.Chapter 3 100%, officially begins....

NOW!

Bags are mostly packed... I need to ship a package to my next destination and another one to family in America. I have some light cleaning to do, but I've been suffering from a malaise most of this semester, and most trivial tasks seem like monumental undertakings... In a little over seventy-two hours I head out of town to the local airport, for a flight to Beijing followed by a connecting flight to my next destination (since there are no direct flights from my current location and next destination)... I hope they're H1N1A free....

I have some basic cleaning to do, and frankly speaking, while I'm not putting 100% into the effort (because nobody did the same for me when I moved into this apartment last year), I am leaving it in a better state than its previous occupant (well, mostly better. The bathroom window was broken three months ago when strong winds finally did the decaying, ancient pane in, splitting the glass in half).

Back when I started teaching abroad I used to put in 110% into cleaning house, naively believing that some kind of karma would come my way when I move on. I've had delusions now and again. What can I say? I AM human after all.

So, I have some very basic cleaning left to do, but I've become lethargic. My body clock is acting erratic and I'm still shaking off the emotional “rust,” that put me in a funk most of this semester. So, some sweeping and mopping that would take most people an hour takes me an entire day.

Anyhow, I'm going to spend most of this summer holiday resetting my body clock and getting an exercise regimen established. Not since my early days in South Korea have I had a regular exercise schedule. I miss it. During that time (from the start of university until the end of my first few years in South Korea) I was lean and mean at 220 pounds that turned into a respectable 240 once the power lifting bug bit me.

I began power lifting to increase strength, developed a good chunk of muscle, but then let my body go to shit after I moved to Taiwan. Having had shitty physical education as a public school student in America, I was ignorant about muscle atrophy. When I stopped power lifting, cold turkey, it totally fucked me up.

I learned the hard way.

Now, as I enter mid-life there's something else to consider: the fact that people naturally lose muscle mass as they age. So, there's extra flab developing atop of the flab that already exists. It's time for me to burn off flab and get back to my university fighting weight of 240. It wasn't until my junior year that I had dropped to a lean (for me) 220, which lasted for eight years. I don't think I can get back to 220 pounds. I lack the discipline to do that. After I started power lifting in South Korea I ended up returning to 240 pounds, but a very awesome 240, where it looked good and did not resemble my early, university 240 (chubby and with no muscle tone). Right now I'd be happy to reach my university, pre-power lifting 240. Call it a compromise based on reality. I just don't think I have it in me to get cut, this late in the game. The only difference between then and now would be the fact that I never lost all of the muscle mass in my arms, so I have muscular definition (that I did not have before I began power lifting) that would simply be tightened. My problem is that all of my flab went to my cheeks, chin(s!), pecs and belly. Since moving to China I find myself weighing 260.

Too much delicious, cheap, unhealthy food and drink and not enough exercise have caught up with me.

Initially I thought about getting back into an exercise regimen while I was living in Wenzhou, but getting the weights and exercise bike to my bumfuck location proved to be too much of a task. Since I don't work out in public, this was my crux. At my current location I had been doing well with daily walks throughout the summer leading up to the olympics, but I grew complacent and found myself saddled with an exhausting work schedule.

To sidetrack for a bit: my experiences working out in America forced me to realize that a majority of people who hit the health clubs were/are narcissists and the environment at most gyms have a weird atmosphere where there's an undercurrent of eugenic-embracing narcissists with inferiority complexes espousing their notions of body image perfection into a subtly hostile environment. It's like being under a glamor microscope. In China, simply being a foreigner will get you unwarranted attention from the most primitive of gym rats. I like to work out in peace and without distraction. I was able to find that in South Korea, which is ironic, because it's one of the most outwardly hostile and racist nations in the orient.

In Taiwan and China I could not.

So, it is time for me to suck it up and get my shit straight and simply set up a home gym; just like I had during university. Back then it was easy to drop weight to 220. Having a very, very active sex life certainly helped. So, maybe it's time for me to get back into the pool and find some fish? I just need to dodge the green card sharks/leeches.

I digress. I only meant to lay out my game plan: spend the summer getting the visa and FEC at the new college settled, resetting my body clock back to normal, and to re-establish an exercise regimen I used to have.

Let's transition into the expectations I have about my next destination.

Like Wenzhou (and most of China), my next job is not located in the heart of an urban area. I was very fortunate to have such a location this academic year, but this university is an exception and NOT the rule for many universities in China. The country, in its disinfinite wisdom, has spent a good chunk of the last decade relocating its once-urban university campuses into wastelands that are transformed (usually in a lame fashion) into “special” development/economic zones where there's sweet fuck all to see, do, experience and enjoy. Perhaps the “logic” (and I use that term loosely) is that seclusion from the modern conveniences offered by urban centers  will force the students to focus on their studies.

Of course, it's all utter bullshit.

What this isolation does is simply limit social diversity and reinforce bullying; schisms in the youth social hierarchy are enhanced by reinforcing a class structure rather than nurturing fraternity (read: the opposite of communism). It's a virtual “Lord of the Flies,” social scenario most Americans endure in their pubic high schools. S. S. D. S.

So, this isolation drives many of these kids to spend substantial chunks of their free time playing basketball or finding solace byimmersing themselves into antisocial worlds of online gaming: the only refuge they have from study, stress, and boredom because they have to spend 3-7 years in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Like most of its self-produced cock ups, it will take this country a decade to realize they fucked up when they chose to force universities to relocate to the wastelands on the fringes of most cities, and when that time comes odds are good that any culpability will be pushed under the social covers after a foreign cultural boogey man is manufactured in a desperate, “face saving,” gesture by various propaganda departments.

Just like the current Green Dam Youth Escourt/Google.cn debacle...

Back to focus: my next job will have residing outside of the city center, just like Wenzhou. Additionally, just like my job in Wenzhou I will have a lot of free time on my hands.

The isolation and excessive free time will probably be a major source of the burden I will carry next semester. Unlike Wenzhou I am prepared for it. I've stock piled culture (read: movies and books and music) to help pass the time and I have my guitar and video gear to help vent my frustration(s) and disappointment(s) in a creative manner. I anticipate that this coming academic year will be one of contemplation and self development. I'll get my mind (sleep and hobbies) and body (sleep and flab) back to a good place. If I keep all of my ducks in a row, the 2010-2011 academic year (most likely in a location that will be different than my upcoming destination) will be the start of a new phase in my life. Perhaps a second-wind? I don't know. I'm rarely so lucky, but only time will tell.

Two weeks ago I completed my obligations to the crappy job and I'm now quietly saying goodbye to the awesome CITY and friends I've had the pleasure to get to know this academic year. For this leg of my China experience(s), the clock is rapidly approaching its final hour.

Forgive me, I'm off to clean.

I  had intended to post more often during the month of May, but I had obligations to focus on before I could afford to devote time to casual pursuits. In the span of a month I:

It did not help that the great firewall went into hyperdrive with the 20th anniversary of an incident this country would like to forget (but the world - rightfully - won't allow to fade into oblivion) having occurred a little over a week ago. I could not access Windows Live Spaces for over a week. Youtube remains blocked (cocksuckers!) and Blogspot is also back on the GFW shit list. I do not use Blogspot, but read numerous blogs housed on that service. So, I had intended to post, but the times I wanted to I simply lacked the patience to play proxy-a-go-go with the Great Fire Wall cunts.


Late last night (early this morning) I handed in the final scores for my graduate and post graduate classes. This marks the official end of my duties at this particular university. It brings to a close what had started out as a positive, fun, enlightening, enriching, wonderful, "chapter two," in the China wing of my EFL career, but ended on a bitter,  jaded, negative note. While I love the hell out of my current city, I grew to hate the university I have been working for, specifically: the poor quality of students I inherited from a colleague (someone I actually consider a friend despite what I'm about to write) that basically didn't bother to teach them shit last semester and simply let the students call the shots (a big fucking NO NO in teaching). I learned that my university's criteria for deciding what kind of individuals make it into their graduate programs is simply non-existent. 

Last semester my students were generally respectful and cooperative and did their work. This semester, after spending a semester with a teacher without much of an authoritative spine; the majority of students I inherited were impatient, spoiled, uninspired,  disruptive and disrespectful miscreants who went well out of their way to fuck with me, more often than not. This lot of students helped me realize the valueless nature of a good number of graduate degrees in China, and teaching them brought to the front pretty much every bit of deliberate incompetence the university's graduate department embodied. This experience also exposed what I had already suspected: my F. A. O. in name only was a corrupt dickhead with a serious bit of ill will towards foreigners, and that I was pretty damn lucky to have an F. A. O. not in name  - but in actual duties and professionalism - to look out for me. Had it not been for this woman, I'd probably have quit and told the F. A. O. in name only just how much of a piece of shit and treat to  China's development he truly was. Not only did the F.  A. O. in duties and professionalism but not in name convince me to finish the contract, but she fought hard for me, supported me, and was mostly honest about the school, its dealings, how and why things here are the way they are. I will always be grateful towards her for these things.

I survived. It still bothers me that when I left for the Spring Festival holiday I was very serious about re-upping the contract in May, but within two weeks of returning, my opinion changed  because of the low class dunces I inherited and the generally unprofessional behavior from a certain woman in the graduate department. Six months of positivity was destroyed in two weeks. I was ready to move on.

I will go into further details about  my year at this university once I'm settled into my new province/city/college/diggs. I will only speak in general terms until that time, if only to protect my ass since there aren't too many associates who can/would/should do that for me. I will only conclude this particular post by stating that I have been forced to reconsider my opinions about private colleges and public universities in China, and in a small manner: about my students in Wenzhou, Zhejiang province. The longer you work here the more you discover which observations are truisms, which are not, and if any absolutes actually apply.

I am happy to be free of many obligations until September. I will enjoy my final days in this awesome city (which I hope to return to when a good job offer pops up. More on that later...) , spend time with the friends I made here, and enjoy not having to get up early. I've EARNED this summer vacation, and while I don't have the plans nor the funds to travel anywhere cool for this summer holiday, I will try to have a fun summer to the best of my abilities.

I wish I could post details about the wonderful city I'm currently living in, and about some of the nasty bullshit that has gone down this semester. I also wish that my classes were over and that I was already in my next city.

In due time.

Patience is not a virtue I possess, yet over time my condition has improved to the point where I have moments that almost resemble such a noble quality.

I have three more days of classes. The end of my teaching at this university coincides with the Dragon Boat Festival holiday, however my work for the university won't conclude for another three weeks. There are finals to proctor and grades to hand in. For the first time in eleven years of teaching English I am going to be failing a student or two. I only feel a slight bit of guilt but it's totally unfounded. I did my job well. To fail my current set of classes one must put in the effort to fuck around. A student has to go out of their way to NOT do the work.... To not participate.... To intentionally skip classes. Failure - much like success - requires effort in my classroom.

So, it's time to play the exam game. Once grades are handed in I simply ship my shit to the next city, enjoy all that I can about my current city because I don't know if (or when) I will be able to return here (and I would like to do that). Even if my next destination is a cool city, I'm pretty certain it won't match my current location.

It's time for me to crash. I sooooooooooo look forward to ending these abominably long work days that the inhuman cunt that handles (more like fumbles) the foreign teacher's schedules inflicted upon me (and my colleague). Suffice it to say that thirteen hour days that begin at the crack of dawn and conclude as sunset begins are hellish. I will NOT be working those hours at my next college (nor will I be making the overtime that has afforded me a first world lifestyle in this third-world nation).

With that said, I will have plenty of free time in my next destination. I can work out, study Chinese, work on my video projects, and possibly enjoy parts of my life I have had to deligate to weekends and holidays in my current location.

Baring any unforeseen bullshit, I have pinned down my next job in China. I signed a portion of the contract and have started grabbing the things I want from my current city that I might not be able to find in my next destination (my current city will be named in a few weeks, once my teaching obligations here are fulfilled). Some of what I'm grabbing are touristy trinkets, some are necessities, and some are simply personal wants I am not sure I can placate in my next destination. It's hard to tell what you will find in another city and my experience dictates that it's best to err on the side of caution and grab things when and where you can while you can, in China.

This brings me to a tangent related to a gripe that I should get off my chest: contrary to what many self-proclaimed, "long term China expats," claim, all Chinese cities are NOT the same. Only a short-sighted, sheltered, selfish, ignorant, incompetent blowhard would make such a superfluous and bogus claim. While there are similarities between medium and large sized cities within China that you can count on; every city here still has its own character... Its own local eccentricities... Its own personality. If you live here and get out enough and don't surround yourself totally with expatriates (and thus live within a myopic bubble); if you actually get into a pattern of seeing how the other half lives, should you chose to live in China and work in the trenches (this almost never applies to the cushy engineer and business jobs that other expats populate. I get the distinct impression from meeting them and reading blogs from them that their China is not the China most of us experience. They are glorified tourists to a great extent: a point on which they will likely want to disagree).

I feel that I should also state that I have no problem with people who dislike China based on their unpleasant experiences here, so long as they keep their shit in check and don't spin things into an inverted fenqing bit of racist rhetoric like the defunct Sinocidal blog used to do (good riddance to bad rubbish!).

With that tangent aside, I return to one of the main topics of this post.

As much as I love my current city (and I LOVE it. It's my favorite spot in China), the university jobs on offer here pay shit and demand a lot for their pitiful salaries. I cannot and will not re-up with my current university. While it is light years better than the City College of Wenzhou University, the English department here is run poorly and operates on a campus far removed from the living accommodations (think a good one hour's bus ride each way). The unpaid travel time required to teach in a department that my colleagues are fleeing from (one of them has jumped out of that frying pan and right into the fire: they will step into the position that I am vacating at the end of my contract: the thoroughly atrocious graduate department, while the other foreign teacher working for the university English department is fleeing China altogether) is a killer. The indifferent, incompetent planning of the English department puts the final nail into that option. Rumors of a good bit of shared xenophobia between the graduate studies department and undergraduate English departments are rampant. So, I had to look elsewhere for a decent job that would afford me a reasonable quality of life while working in China.

With the best paying university in town (my current employer) driving me away with seriously poor facilities and even worse department leadership; and none of the public universities (and a good number of the private universities), middle schools nor high schools paying an acceptable wage based upon the hours they want a teacher to work: I will say goodbye to this magnificent city. I'm not a fan of this province, but I love this city. It's a "diamond," in the otherwise dirt poor, boring,  fugly, "rough."

When I was hunting for my next job I noticed that pickings were slimmer this year than last year. In reading the various offers on university web pages, EFL web pages, and on recruiters' sites, I am left with the impression that many schools are exploiting the "economic crisis" to justify reducing salaries and upping their classroom hours. Some positions that I considered last year - only to revisit this year - serve to fan my suspicions. Also, it appears as though more universities are going to recruiters than ever before. Recruiters are a mixed bag, with the bad side outweighing the good.

So I ended up accepting an offer from a private college in another city, far removed from the wonderful one I'm living in. Its basic salary is higher than my current basic salary, and its overtime pay is identical to the overtime pay here, but my base hours are slightly higher. I actually earn less because of this. 1, 200 RMB less a month. That's roughly $200 U. S. less with the current exchange. However, I will end up working 24 fewer hours a month. My actual class workloads are going to be greatly reduced, and I will teach genuine English majors, as opposed to non-English majors. That's a step up. They are undergraduates, though. So it's six in one hand, and a half a dozen in the other.

Now I count the days until my current teaching duties are done. I pack what I can while I wait to pack the rest. China rail will be the mode of transport to get the crap I've accumulated to my next destination. I'll talk more about that in the future. Unfortunately, there are no direct flights from my current location to my next destination. I will have to hop planes. Oh joy.

March was not a particularly good month for me.

Where to begin? Let's start with the incompetence in the graduate department....

Like many university departments in China, the graduate department at my current university is not particularly concerned with its foreign teachers. If we are thought of at all, it is as an afterthought. Any last-minute decisions (read: clusterfucks) that effect other instructors (read: local professionals) can and usually will trickle down to the foreign teachers (all two of us) like a slow, corrosive acid burn. We are the last to know and the first to get fucked, on most accounts. This is particularly telling in the piss poor planning and consideration put into most department decisions.  Almost never do we receive consultation, either. Like the actual governance going on on a national scale,  it's a kind of nanny governance that boils down to the nanny (in this case, the graduate studies department) taking upon itself to decide what's best for the wai jiao, without ever actually knowing us personally (most of these people dislike foreigners, going so far as resenting us for the supposedly "rich" life we are granted here - never mind the fact they can usually rake in more dough than we ever will, with provincial salary caps on foreigners, but not the locals) or without a slight consideration to the cultural differences they like to pull out as convenient excuses whenever anything goes to shit on their end. Of course, any cultural differences we wai jiao may have are irrelevant because, after all: we are not Chinese, and most likely in more than a few poorly educated, frog-in-the-well-ian eyes, we are not human (simply because such people lack the mental facilities to be able to put themselves in anyone else's shoes. They are victims of a failing, antiquated education system after all...).

So, the incompetence stems from cultural insensitivity/ignorance, a poor education, a lack of etiquette, an inability to empathize (be it pathological or simply from a lack of education/life experience), selfishness, and an overall, old-fashioned lack of of professionalism.

In a nutshell, the incompetence that served as the straw that broke this camel's back was twofold:

A.) Being assured we'd have new, sanitary, safe classrooms suitable for oral English education and exercises only to be stuck in the same unsafe, unsanitary, unprofessional, filthy, derelict, commie, cement shitbox deathtrap jokes of classrooms we have been using for most of the academic year.

B.) Not receiving an actual schedule until the night before classes started. While this is not an uncommon occurrence in China, it does tend to fall heavily into a serious lack of competence, professionalism and cultural understanding and happens to the foreign teachers far more than any other department/employees at any university on any given time, in the PRC. Often, it's simply just people fucking around, but I also suspect - with good reason - that it has a lot to do with sticking it to the lao wai, because,  after all, it's not like the government-controlled media and education system have every viewed non-Chinese as anything but monied demons, dogs, jokes, barbarians, and secondary citizens out to harm China (We're not! I actually find much to appreciate about China, but it doesn't fit into the neat little peg of propaganda that some curmudgeons enjoy fabricating). Oh sure, there's a smidgen of history that could be used to justify this perception amongst the mouth-breathing xenophobes that do lurk around the nation... Hell, you can justify anything if you rationalize it enough with mental gymnastics. It doesn't mean it's legitimate or relevant anymore. I mean, there are no survivors of the opium wars to actual turn to, and as the clock ticks: World War II*, either (*referred to as, "The Chinese War Against Japanese Oppression," in official nomenclature).  Even so, using a warped, uneducated, deliberate manipulation of history to justify a petty slight is not uncommon here, happens frequently, and I have little doubt it plays a small (perhaps even substantial) part in why foreign instructors coming to work in China should not be surprised by this lazy, inept, blatant lack of professionalism. Accept it now and you'll find life will improve.

Well, that is until all sorts of other wacky ineptitude goes down, at which point this laziness manifests itself as a cherry atop the shit sundae of madness that some foreign teachers can experience in China.

There were a lot of other factors that have pissed me off, but the one-two punch of examples A. and B. are the ones that seared their red-hot brand into my realization that I would rather not deal with the department I am currently working under.

My FAO* (who, technically isn't the FAO. The actual FAO is someone we rarely see, rarely deal with, and it's actually better that we don't, in my opinion, but I will refer to the actual person who does ALL of the important work as my FAO, even though they are not the actual FAO when it comes to rubber stamping things. That's pretty much what the actual FAO does, when it comes to the foreign teachers...)... Anyway, my FAO* is actually the best boss I've had in the tumultuous world of TEFL. I enjoyed working with her, and if she had greater power, this university would be one of the nation's best. She has a heart as big as China itself, and she busts her back doing her job (and pretty much the job of the actual FAO, too). I will miss her when I leave.

Anyway, my FAO*, while having the power to hire and fire, has no actual power over the department I work for.

The mechanics of the situation go like this: She has the power to hire and fire, she works hard to please the school, foreign teachers, her boss (the actual FAO, in name), and the departments that need foreign teachers.  She has to deal with shit coming at her from all sides, and more egos than I'd care to count. How she does it is amazing, and this woman has earned my respect tenfold. With that said, she has absolutely no power over scheduling, class assignments, dealing with students, academic planning, etc. All of that falls into the hands of the respective departments. In my case, that's the university's graduate studies department, which I work under. I do not teach English majors. I teach graduate students majoring in anything that isn't related with English.

It's a chore, but I knew that coming in. I am not complaining about that. What I am complaining about is the lack of any communication between the graduate studies department and the foreign teachers. There's only two foreign teachers working for the department, so it's not like we're hard to track down. It simply boiled down to a complete lack of interest in their two lao wai. As far as they're concerned, as long as students are happy, they're happy. That's great, except the lack of interest extended to EVERYTHING ELSE, like classroom conditions, classroom necessities (like photocopying, chalk, etc.), and other vital parts of a professional university environment.

So, in February I started looking for work at other universities in this city. There are many of them here, and a good number of them hire foreign teachers.

A good number of them pay shit and want more hours, too.

Now I know why my university pays so well. 

This depressed me, as I really, really, REALLY love the city I'm living in. It has everything Shanghai and Beijing have on offer (albeit, in smaller amounts), it has a rich history, and has a lot of things to do. I am rarely, ever bored here. It is laid out rather well and it has a fantastic bus system. Its public transportation continues to improve, and in a few years it will be commuter's paradise (minus the air pollution).

With that said, I fell into a depression because I realized I am going to have to pull up stakes once again. This compounds the miasma of job hunting (which sucks in any country, at any given time, and to which I have bitched about in greater detail in previous posts). It also brought me into a deep funk for the majority of March. Only now am I able to feel better about this situation. I rolled up my sleeves and have been papering more universities than I care to remember. A few have been total cunts and haven't replied, but a good number HAVE replied. Not every opportunity is a real opportunity. I've had a substantial number of criminally exploitive offers from universities in Dalian, and it's no wonder they are always looking for instructors: they conspire to offer some of the lowest salaries in the nation (doubly so for such a prosperous city) and ask for substantially longer hours. I feel sorry for anyone dumb enough to accept such conditions, or, if they are forced into accepting them out of desperation. When culturally insignificant, financially strapped, underdeveloped, disinteresting places like Gansu offer better salaries, then there's nothing more than a conspiracy going on amongst Dalian's schools of “higher education” other than fucking with the foreign teachers.

As an experienced, dedicated instructor: I have more to offer and demand a modicum of respect when it comes to offers headed my way. If a school wants 100% from me then they have to treat me professionally, not with the contempt on display in some contracts, especially those being offered up in Dalian.

I might end up moving back to the eastern seaboard. I have absolutely no interest in western China. Too much political bullshit (on all sides of the conflicts there). Too much exploitation. Too much inconvenience. Too little of... well anything. Not my cuppa, mates.

Well, I'm no longer interested in writing. I've vented. I'll write more when the mood hits. I'll wrap it up by mentioning that I have a couple of job prospects, but to discuss them in detail at this point would probably jinx me. I'll hold off until I have the contracts signed, sealed and delivered. Hopefully that will be sometime early in May

It's been a while.

Here's the brass tacks:
I finished the semester on a good note. On January 2nd I flew back to the United Snakes for some r & r. I had a decent time. I flew back to China on the 14th of February. I was ready to kick off the Spring semester, with the intention of re-upping my contract with the university in May. Classes started back up on the 16th. The graduate studies department fucked the foreign teachers over with some promises, and worse still: they didn't even give me a class schedule, attendance sheets, fucked up the classroom they gave me, and didn't even respect me enough to have any chalk. 

Talk about ghetto.

While I'm glad to be back in China, I won't be renewing my contract with this university once it expires in June. My boss is fine, my students are fine, and this city is awesome, but I want to work in a slightly more professional atmosphere. I'd like to stay in this city, but some other universities don't advertise, most pay shit, and most are not actually located within the city, but way the fuck out. I don't particularly care for the Chinese sticks, thanks.

 There's a distinct possibility I'll be moving to a new city/province for the fall semester.  I have no regrets, though. This place was far better than the Shitty College of Wenzhou University.

New York, possibly the most taxed state in America, under the leadership of a man WE DID NOT ELECT (no, not Bush, but Governor David Paterson) ,  has basically decided to tax every fucking thing in life:

 

 

 

 

 

Big brother government - not even in China!

 

Let's start with the bottom and work our way to the top.

Don't bullshit us, blind man. "Fighting obesity," is not a concern but a smoke screen. A smoke screen that hides the fact that you were desperate to tax anything you can because you and your predecessors couldn't manage the state worth a shit. You did sweet fuck all to bring business in. Rather than stimulate the economy you simply tax the living shit out of your citizens. Every fucking dollar goes to New York City and you've done sweet fuck all for the other 90% of the state. not a goddmaned thing, blind man.

 

It gets better! This man, who was NOT elected as governor will:

 

 

So, fuck education!

 

 

 

Encourage gambling, but who will have the petty cash to gamble because every fucking thing's being taxed and will suck away any possible change spent on frivolities like playing the lottery and slot machines? I don't kid. Nearly everything is being taxed and wrapped up in a, "health conscious" bit of lip service by a man no one in New York elected.

But wait, there's more!

 

 

Things that are purchased from OUT OF STATE, most likely 90-100% of the time! Rather than help make an environment where such businesses could exist in New York, Mario Cuomo, Pataki, Spitzer and Paterson have done absolutely nothing in twenty years.

Neither did Clinton, Bruno, Rangel, D'Amato, and every other cocksucker "representing" us in Washington.

 

 

 Yeah, that'll help the state! Paterson's not only legally blind, but irrevoccably stupid, too.

 

 

-Create a $1 million obesity prevention program.

Throw way your money when you're trying to trim FISCAL fat! That's a good one. 

 

 

 

New York already has some of the most expensive gasoline on the eastern seaboard.

 

Eradicate that and the 14 billion debt will be down to under 12. Nope,  blind man ain't gonna do that. Take it out of education and milk the working class who are now the working poor: par for the course in the state of New York!

 

 

 

 

 

Autumn is in full swing outside of my apartment. I wish I had a better photo, but autumn foliage always warms my heart.

I've been having serious internet problems for the last three weeks. Now, they are resolved (fingers crossed: permanently!) and I'll get back into things next week.

With that said, this week marks the first time that I can truly say I am proud of my country. There's much work to be done in the post Bush-rape of my nation, and even more on America's deeply racist infrastructure, but there's a big fucking hole that has burst through the glass ceiling of mainstream America this week, and as Leonard Cohen once sang, "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in..."

This week, there was a light. A light of hope. It ain't salvation, but it sure is a big step towards redemption.

Congratulations, President-elect Obama. Congratulations, America.

 

A picture is worth a thousand words, or so a sage once said. For the most part, I agree with this assessment, especially when it comes to confronting anti-western insecurities (read: XENOPHOBIA) within China, and hysterical, equally miseducated, unbridled hatred via the Sinophobia that is also rampant in the west (America in particularly, where over 3/4s of my fellow countrymen NEVER ever leave the country in their lifetimes, and thus have such a warped view of the world that it begins and ends with the stars and stripes of one Ms. Betsy Ross).

Today, I offer up further proof of the liberalization of China in the form of religious freedom.

Out in the open, in front of one of my city's largest bookstores, freely discussing, pitching, brainwashing and indoctrinating any citizen willing to listen: a sidewalk recruiting stall for bible studies in this important cultural hot spot in China, PRC. Cops were all over the place doing their jobs, which is to say their work DID NOT  include cracking down these Christians' heads, but in directing traffic in full view! Yes, kids: while it ain't like your neck of the (back) woods, China does allow religion! Now, get on with your fucking lives!!!

 

Contrary to what the bible thumping, bigoted, xenophobic hate'n'fear mongers of the U. Ass Eh insist: individual rights to have practice religion in China do exist. Now, such liberties are nothing like those permitted in many western nations (for better or for worse, and as an atheist and member of a nation where the Christian Taliban known as the religious right have done raped the nation into a miasma of unbridled hatred, primitive shamanism, and outright mind-fucking stupidity that bible thumpers are synonymous with) is actually permitted in China), but they are not absent.

Bibles are readily available at any state-owned Xinhua bookstore (every city has a branch) in Chinese and English, and uncensored/unaltered. I have not looked for the Koran, but judging by the Hui and Uyigurs throughout the country: the situation is the same (though what the government does out west tends to reinforce the stereotypes many westerners have about religious freedoms in China. Of course, this sad reality ends up being exploited and applied to the entire nation and every religion, though the only religions that face a regular rough time here are those of certain regional sects of Buddhism, and Islam. Islam, like Christianity is not without tis share of radicals, extremists, separatists, fascists and other malcontents who comprise the majority rather than the minority of their respective schools of “thought”). The books are out there, easily obtainable, affordable and uncensored.

Now, the big knot in the panties of the bible thumper and other religious nutters is how China ensures a deeply rooted separation of Church and State in government affairs. Sorry, theocracies are abject failures and contribute nothing positive to a culture, nor the world. You're free to disagree. I mean, everyone's free to be a moron, but unlike America, where the lines have become so blurred that the right wing, Christ-loving philosophical brethren to the Islamic Taliban have basically ruined one of the greatest nations in the world and rendered it economically insolvent, aesthetically impotent, and fundamentally doomed to being one of the greatest warmongering clusterfucks of the 21^st century (and we are entering the tail end of its first decade!). Here, religion is put in its rightful place: as an ideology you have the freedom to believe in, or not, but you do not have the right to organize into militias.

You have the individual freedom to follow, believe, and enjoy your faith but you do not have a right to fuck up the works, and frankly: religion fucks up the social works of every country on this big fuckin' blue marble. Feel free to disagree, but you're still wrong. I'm sure you can complain to God about it. They'll listen. The easter bunny and Santa Claus too!

Anyway, Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Judaism (China was one of the few nations to offer Jewish exiles a safe haven during the Holocaust, while America and many “noble” Christian nations sent whole ships to their doom before finally sucking it up and doing the right thing. Funny that.), and Taoism are several religions that you are allowed to believe in, you should choose, and there are places o even practice your religion. Sure, it's state controlled, but the point is that these places EXIST, and it's the unregulated, underground, clandestine, conspiracy groups that get the hammer thrown at them in the non-western portions of this country. If you don't believe me, come here and look, see, hear and research it for yourself. Just keep your proselytizing at home. China's not your pulpit. If you disagree, kindly fuck off an die. It's not your country to dictate national policy upon from the comfort of your rectories.

Nothing is perfect in this world, and china has its fair share of injustice(s) and imperfection(s), but when most Americans still have this North Korea-like stereotype about China, complete with Mao-suited, cultural revolution era notions of how they THINK the locals live, behave and think: in this age of potential self-enlightenment (yes, I seriously consider the explosion of the internet and the access to information it provides as the impetus for a century when individuals with the gumption can learn more than any previous generation could; they have access to more culture and information and opinions at their fingertips than any previous generation, and more often than not that's a good thing, not a bad thing.), I think it's time to call out the backwards thinking and information on both sides of the pond.

In this missive, I call out the right wing cunts who rule the roost back home.

Now, you can lick your wounds and get over yourself and learn a little more about this supposed “repression” that Christians claim their brethren face in China. They sure like to paint themselves as victims like the little guys out west, but Christianity in China is alive, well, healthy and unlike America: is on a leash and is unable to leech off the state and poison the progress of a nation and its people in some supernatural horseshit that most sane, intelligent enlightened individuals abandoned once they put down their berry-paint and turned away from their caves so they could walk upright ,cook food and develop both the wheel and hardcore pornography!.

I'm on the verge of wrapping up my first week back from the last public holiday I will be able to enjoy for the next couple of months. While I didn't do much beyond eat, sleep, shit, shop and watch movies, my first national week holiday in China did end with a literal bang!

Flash back to Sunday, September 28th. Just as the clock was about to turn 4 (am) I felt a serious concussion rumble through my apartment as a loud bang woke up the entire block of apartments housing university staff. Although it was a split second later, it felt like an infinity passed before the sound of raining glass followed. Shortly thereafter the voices of concerned mandarin speakers were coming into my apartment through the open window in my bathroom.

I had been doing some video work on my computer in the office adjacent to the bathroom when my quiet Sunday had taken an exciting turn.

Based on the concussion and the sounds, I realized something had exploded. At first, I assumed it had something to do with the construction going on outside the east gate of our apartment community. For the last several months there has been endless construction going on. My city is in the midst of establishing its first subway line. While the hours of construction rarely ever kick in at such an early hour, I had incorrectly deducted that they were using some kind of low powered explosive to assist them in their efforts. While it would have been rude, such a scenario is not beyond the realm of possibility in the People's Republic of China.

The increasing volume of Chinese murmurs emanating from outside convinced me that I needed to rethink my suspicion and I headed over to my bathroom to take a piss before throwing on some clothes to go and take a look at what the commotion was about. It was there that I noticed the flickering orange glow outside my window. I knew it was fire. I was far away so as to not feel any heat, but the smell of burning wood, cement, plastic and other toxins had started creeping through the air. So, peering around the curtain in front of my bathroom window I was not entirely surprised to see a second floor apartment in a building across the street from my block of apartments engulfed in flames.

The fire raged about five feet high. The non-temper proof glass that once formed the wall of a kitchen veranda was reduced to shards on the ground thanks to the roaring fire that appeared to grow in intensity. Wood snapped, smoke accumulated, and the surviving windows were exploding like firecrackers as the fire smothered everything in its path.  I began to worry about the people who lived on the three floors above the apartment as well as the pair of apartments that were next to the fire.

Our apartment buildings are nearly identical. Either the building had two sets of apartments across from each other, or, like mine, three apartments next to each other. That's how it is around here. I basically live in a communist Chinese danwei, or "work group" community. The university, which is a public institution financed on a provincial level, houses all of its administrators and instructors in a series of ten or twelve apartment buildings. Each building has five to seven floors, with two to three apartment units per floor. The buildings are at least twenty-to-twenty five years old. Given the insane pollution of the city, and the shoddy construction, they appear to be thirty or forty years old. They're not shitty. They are actually homey, but they are nothing like the university housing you'd encounter in the west, or in parts of Japan. We have a playground, some basketball courts, five ma-and-pa bodegas that make up for the serious lack of a modern convenience store. I actually like my housing. It's cozy, secure, mostly safe (!), in a great location, private, and there's a sense of genuine community here. It not only wipes the floor of my digs in Wenzhou, but it pissess all over them like an extra from an Al Adamson biker movie like SATAN'S SADISTS.

It's that cool.

Anyway, while there was loud, concerned murmuring, there were no screams of horror nor tears of agony. Thankfully everybody appeared to get out alright. As I grabbed my shit and prepared to head outside, I spotted someone desperately grabbing a wash basin filled with water and trying to douse the flames in vain. Silly? Sure. It's no less admirable, though.

After I got my sneakers on I waltzed across the hall to see if a fellow foreign teacher was aware of what was happening. She was. Kind of. She thought it was an earthquake. I encouraged her to look out my bathroom window and she had those fears alleviated. We ended up heading outside. We wondered when - and -if - the fire fighters would be arriving, and what effect this would have on us. I figured the worst case scenario would consist of our complex being without power, water or gas for a few days. Thankfully none of that came to pass. A good fifteen minutes after we headed outside the fire engines arrived. Rather than the "sirens blaring" theatrics television has conditioned me to expect, they managed to enter our community rather quietly, but not without some difficulty. There are two gates leading into and out of our danwei. The roads are narrow and do not allow for two vehicles coming from opposite directions to share space. Matters are made worse by the "park wherever the fuck you want" attitude of some residents, and the inability to enter from one end of the complex and exit from the other without snaking through a rather long, labyrinthine detour that is murderous for anything above a compact car. It's awesome to walk through such roads, but bloody fucked for safety.

So, the firefighters extinguished the blaze in less than five minutes. Nobody hurt. No fatalities. Lots of fire, smoke and water damage to the apartment (and its neighbors, most likely), but less than a week later the only way you'd know there was fire is from the pair of coal black char marks that were left in the wake of flames that once rose out of the second story veranda kitchen.

Only within the last forty-eight hours was power restored to the building.

Shit gets fixed fast around these parts, if the money, manpower and moxie of local forces are allied.

So, that is my true, exciting, Chinese holiday story. Overall, the holiday was pleasant. I have no complaints about it, whatsoever. With that said, getting back into the swing of classes brought an altogether different set of feelings.

On Monday I was remorseful the holiday was over. I had a shitty set of morning classes. Things just didn't click in the lessons and I think the students were in the same boat as I was: we wanted the vacation to continue on! In my TEFL experiences this is to be expected. This year I've been spoiled by the overwhelming sense of liberation/lack of obligation that comes with holidays, and this semester has been one filled with a LOT of vacation time, starting with the two months of summer vacation, followed by a week's delay in starting classes because of the university's commemoration of its fiftieth anniversary. Throw in the day off for the Mid-Autumn Festival and a week later the National Day holiday (which was a week off) and I was supremely spoiled this year! The fact that I got paid through most of this has been sublime.

I am truly lucky to have stumbled across my current job. I hope I continue to feel this way in the future, and that the school is happy with me. I could see myself settling into this gig for a few years if I'm lucky.

This increasingly older man isn't snoring.

It has rained for nearly three days straight. Only early Sunday evening did it let up.

I like rain. I always have. It has a soothing effect on me. It also had a soothing effect on the vestiges of summer that were lingering around these parts. By Wednesday it had become humid enough that I slept with the air conditioning on. I haven't had to do that all summer. If my bedroom had a ceiling fan, or if I had the sense to purchase a small fan then I wouldn't' have needed to turn on my air conditioning. Once it started raining late Thursday night, I was able to rest easily. The air progressively chilled until it reached old school, pre-global warming autumn temperatures. It was heavenly! I LOVE autumn and I enjoy being able to throw on a sweatshirt around the apartment.

It couldn't have happened at a better time. It has made this “National Day” holiday very comfortable and casual. I like the reduced pace of life the seemingly endless rain put on the city. Things were as busy as ever, but wit the “volume” turned down a bit.

I spent the week addressing students about the fact they cannot change classes on a whim. If they want to attend extra classes I'm more than happy to have them around, but they must show up for their scheduled classes. What happened to warrant this reminder came about on Monday morning when a dozen students informed me that they were going to attend my class later in the day because they “had” to meet with their tutor. It should be noted that they didn't ask for my permission, they simply told me. It should also be noted that they never received the graduate studies department's permission. They simply thought they could call the shots.

To nip this grotesque display of disrespect in the blood, I laid down the law to every class, and when we return next Monday, it's a final round of reminders. It's my class, our time and it's what the university has planned out. We stick to the schedule and that's that. There is no room for debate, especially when they had the audacity to not even ask for my permission to swap classes.

Homey don't play that.

Back to the holiday: classes are on hiatus until next week. I get to enjoy this paid holiday, though I did not have the foresight to plan ahead for it. Instead of traveling around China, I'm sticking around town. Having been here for three months, there remains plenty of discoveries for me to make in this cool city.

Saturday was uneventful. I slept in, only went out for some drinks, but spent the day doing nothing productive. I spent the day recovering from the previous week. On Sunday I slept in, hit the DVD near the school of music, picked up a copy of THE KITE RUNNER for my colleague, and a boxed set of every WRESTLEMANIA (up until WM21), and a copy of Takeshi Kitano's TAKESHIS. In theory it is still Sunday for me, though it's about two in the a. m, and I'm about to call it a day.

I plan on moseying over to the bedroom for a few episodes of THE ADDAMS FAMILY (I purchased a boxed set of every episode back in July, when I first arrived in my new digs) before I sleep in. If I wake up at a reasonable time I'll head on over to the computer market to purchase some speakers and about 12 feet of audio cable. I moved the school supplied television and DVD player into the bedroom and I will connect the speakers to the player so I can have the home theater in place.

Next to improving my Mandarin and my numerous artistic projects, I will spend a lot of time catching up on movies this year.

Anyway, my plans for the holiday are to spend a few hours doing lesson plans, doing some shopping, sleeping as much as I can, prepping 4 hours of original programming for the broadband channel, and editing some contributions I'll be making to some acquaintances' projects. It's not much, but it keeps me from being bored and I like it.

I simply wish it'd rain a little more.

Festive serenading in a local neighborhood's Mid-Autumn Festival celebration.

 I have survived the first week of classes. So far, so good. There's 16 weeks remaining before exams.

Teaching graduate students has its ups and its downs. My university is a public school. It's ranked 10th out of the forty schools in this city. It's a provincial school with a long, storied history. It is not an exceptionally large school, but for the most part they've treated me well. I have little to say about it in a negative light.

Last semester, in Wenzhou, I was a part of the Economics department, despite being an English instructor. This semester I fall under the auspices of the Graduate Studies department of my employer. It's a small department, and there are two foreign English instructors (of four foreign teachers in total). I am half of that duo.

Our department isn't terribly organized, but organized enough that things that need to get done, get done. Outside of some scheduling errors on the papers the class rosters they handed me over a week and a half ago, for the most part it has been a smooth ride. In spite of the incredibly spartan classrooms we must use that are totally against productivity in an oral English environment (the rooms were made with the Chinese education system in mind: teacher lectures, students listen, no back and forth and that's that), I manage to do my best.

None of my students are English majors. Most have a moderate amount of English to work from. They are functional and it's good enough to work from and polish. With that said, every class contains a couple of students whose English skills are one step above non-existent. It's a bit bizarre, and leads me to speculate how they got so far with such shit English (read: they probably failed it but since they were not English majors their undergraduate programs simply gave them a base-level, passing grade). I will do my best to help them, but the reality is that they probably won't make much effort nor do they care to. Fair enough. If they come to every class and do the best that they can then they will probably squeak by.

I am under no illusions that my work is important. I simply teach a base requirement. I do the best I can with what I am given. Some are genuine in wanting to take advantage of the class, some are just there because they have to be. Fair enough. That's the way the game is played.

So far, so good: the students show up with pens and paper and are fairly respectful. All have made attempts to participate. If the next sixteen weeks proceed like this then it will be a good year.

What sucks right now, is that I'm battling a late summer's cold. It's rare that I catch a cold, but I suspect I caught what my colleague picked up while prancing about in Xinjiang Province on summer holiday. It started off with a bang, mellowed out, seemed to be beaten, but only retreated for a second go around. Lucky for me it is the mid-autumn festival holiday. I can sleep in, do nothing, and try to kick this thing's ass with rest, orange juice, and relaxation. Unfortunate for me, this falls on the weekend when the university wanted the foreign teachers to attend some festivities. Doubly unfortunate is the fact that I had given my word that I was going to attend this afternoon's festivities. I really intended to go, if only to keep the good will going between the school and myself. I was going to skip out on Monday's early morning brouhaha, but Sunday afternoon was fine. I'd endure the boredom and formal song and dance to give the school face and earn some brownie points.

Seriously, if things go as smoothly through the year as they have since I arrived in July, then I could see myself sticking around this place for a few years. Giving face now and then helps to go a long way in the future.

Flash forward to this morning. After a lot of tossing and turning, I woke up late in the morning. Rather than feeling well rested for the hours I clocked in sawing wood, I felt drowsy, congested, and disinterested in leaving my apartment for any reason baring a life-or-death situation.

I'm sure this great timing will make me look like shit to the school. I hope I'm wrong. After all, I'd have to endure hours of endless, mostly meaningless pomp and circumstances that would not have been translated for me, way the fuck out in our satellite campus located in the middle of nowhere (thankfully I don't have to teach at that campus), while sick, just for face.

I'm not talking about one hour or two, nor three, but for nearly five hours.

Sorry, but my life is more important than face. Health over ego. I'm of better "face" to the school alive, healthy and working with students then sitting around bored to death an ill and used as window dressing.

My colleagues apparently have skipped out, too. My graduate studies colleague skipped out on today's celebrations in order to clock in coin teaching privates. He will attend Monday morning's song-and-dances, though.  My foreign colleagues who teach undergraduates on the satellite campus, from what my FAO* told me, were a mixed bag. The irresponsible, unqualified, selfish nutter of the two simply ignored phone calls from the school; she's such a self-absorbed cunt she couldn't even tell hem she wasn't sticking around (despite being told about the event for the last two weeks), and the British half was supposedly attending this afternoon's celebration.

At least three of us were courteous enough to let our FAO know, rather than play possum.

I ended up calling my FAO* and explained my situation. I doubt she believes me. The timing of this cold fucking sucks. I said I might attend Monday's festivities, but I won't. Even if I miraculously recovered overnight, I have no desire to go way off to the satellite campus, so early in the morning, just to be a token face in a crowd for a bunch of shit that has no baring on me. I just joined the school, so I'm not part of the fifty year history it is celebrating. I did my best to imply that the chances were good I wouldn't be there. There's simply no way - short of a miracle - that my health will make that possible. 

So, now I wonder if the school will hold this against me if - and when - contract negotiation time returns. I hope no, but time will tell. At least I was honest about my situation. It was simply shit timing. I had every intention of attending this afternoon's events.

*-I found out last week that my "FAO" isn't actually my foreign affairs officer: she's the #2 in the foreign affairs department! With this said, she does almost all of the work and for all intents and purposes she's my boss, so I will continue to refer to her as my FAO  even if the school doesn't.

I also found out that our school only has two campuses, not three, as they lead me to believe. They consider the housing collective employees  live in as a “campus,” much like they consider class PERIODS “classes,” rather than the two 45 minute PERIODS as a single “class,” which they really are. Our housing project is not a campus though. It is not connected to the university campuses proper, nor is it used for anything but housing of employees both retired and active.

Well, the vacation's over. Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of it, actually. The .1 percent applies to the remainder of this week, since the very first class of my first semester at this University commences this coming Monday. However, in terms of actual work, today is my first day of work.

It's about four in the morning as I write this, and in less than four hours I will join my FAO (Foreign Affairs Officer) on a trip to the campus where I will engage graduate students in oral English for the next year. Lucky for me, I work at one of the university's two city-based campuses. Two of my colleagues have to hop on a bus for a ponderous forty-five minute trek to the university's new campus. I was given a drive-by tour of it on Sunday and it's a very clean, very uninteresting, very isolated (it makes Chashan seem downright cosmopolitan) campus where undergraduate students have to spend their freshman and sophomore years. There truly is nothing to do there but study. While the campus has an olympic-sized outdoor pool, I don't think it will receive any use from now until April or May, maybe even June.

The summers in this area are mild. You could get by with some nice shade and a ceiling fan. It's great!

Anyway, there are four foreign teachers teaching oral English and cultural classes at this university (myself included). Three of us are Americans, with a lone citizen of the British Empire rounding out our motley crew. Three of us are male, with the lone, token female teacher (American) hired simply because she was a woman. I know this because she told me so herself. She has no degree but managed to work a shitty job in Changzhou through 2007. She makes considerably less than the rest of us, and just goes to prove that if you possess as little as an accredited bachelor's degree you have a step up on the pay ladder here. This young lady joins our British contingent with treks to the campus located way the in the middle of nowhere. They are also the youngest teachers here. That leaves the old farts with the most experience to work with the graduate students in the city proper. My colleague does overtime by busing it down to the new campus once or twice a week, but I am unsure if I will put myself through it.

FYI: The FTs (“Foreign Teachers”) working with the undergrads started work this week (on Monday).

With a little over a week before I teach my first class, I was informed I'd have a three day work week consisting of the Monday/Wednesday/Friday variety. I can dig that. At my previous employer I had a four day work week, with days off on Wednesday and the weekend. I was also informed that my first class starts on Monday, the 8^th. I was not provided a schedule of what time, how many classes, etc. Perhaps I will receive that today. I certainly hope so!

My FAO is a very organized woman and simply wipes the floor with my previous nightmare of an FAO. My current FAO is on the ball, likable, and straightforward. She makes things happen and shit gets done. She also displays a clear understanding of what foreign teachers expect and does a pretty good job of being thorough and informative. My department, the graduate studies program, are less than organized. In fact, my FAO has had to prod them along to get any information at all.

So far it's six in one hand and a half a dozen in the other...

I have known since July that my classroom will be bare bones. No multimedia capabilities. Nothing. It will make my work a bit difficult and force me to be on my toes, but I pin it on the graduate studies department, who strike me as being a bunch of incompetent bores with no concern for their oral English department, its students or the teacher (at least the foreign teachers). Apparently my FAO has tried to get them to give us multimedia rooms, but the morons can't wrap their heads around the concept.

At least I won't have to deal with students fucking with the a/v set up prior to lessons.

So, to review: today I tour the campus I will hold my classes in (which I haven't been to yet), meet the bores in the graduate studies department, see my FAO's office, see my classroom, and get out of the apartment for something more than a long walk, or a jaunt to the grocery store. The change of scenery should help lift my spirits up for a few hours. While I have managed to turn my apartment into a livable, cozy, oasis, I've spent more time here than I'd like to on a weekly basis. Being broke can force one to do that. Summer also factors into that. Once it gets a little chilly I'll probably hang out at the nearby cultural landmark/park. It's very clean, organized and pleasant. It's also often crowded, but I really like it. It is less than two minute's walk from my apartment.

Well, it WAS.

They're building a subway rail nearby and a good chunk of the street is holed off. So, the formerly pleasant 2 minute walk is now an average 10 minute walk.

So it goes.

In a way, I'm sad to see the wonderfully long summer vacation draw to a close (I've never had such a long vacation while employed, up until this year, and forgive me for relishing the rare luxury, but it was FUCKING awesome to have it!) I'm also happy to see it go. While it was mostly uneventful, I did have a good time in June and most of July, and only a week or so into August did the occasional bouts of depression drift in and out every week. I think boredom and lack of a social life contributed heavily to the phenomenon. That will change now that students are here, classes are commencing and I'll soon have regular income flowing into the bank account (which still need to open!).

With every new beginning something must first come to an end. For yours truly, that means I'm going to stop writing about Wenzhou in great detail. References will no doubt crop up, as well as some gristle to glean information and opinion from, but I'm in a new city, at a new school, with a new job, and so far, everything has been progressing decently. It's not perfect, but the positives currently outnumber the negatives by 100:1. I find myself enjoying this city, my apartment (no weekly gambit of wondering when the power and electricity would go if, let alone at the same time!). The nearby construction is not a dust storm of pollution, noise and pitfalls. Civilization is all around me, and my FAO is a genuine human being: that already sets this academic year on a sound note!

I had a nice, lengthy blog entry I attempted to post a few days ago. Using a school computer with pirated Windows XP and no back-up disc to allow for needed updates, fixes, patches and other Microsoft bullshit is a headache. Compounded in impossibility, I also have to deal with Firefox forcing new, buggy versions of their browser upon me, with shutting it down its automatic updating fuction requiring a bit of digging around its guts. 

Gearheads and code junkies are impractical, inconvenient assholes. 

Anyway, Chinese hackers had their way with my Internet Explorer. I suspect it was done by the local ISP (not uncommon) but they went in and fucked with the registry so now, any time I open MSIE the homepage is some bullshit, half-assed local upstart search portal rather than MSN or Yahoo. No matter how many times I change this option it always gets hijacked and returns to its hacked state. This computer has Zone Alarm and AVG Anti-Virus and Windows Firewall and yet someone came in and fucked shit up just to promote their search engine.

Hackers are terrorist cocksuckers, and China has its fare share of 'em. 

If this was my own computer it never would have happened. However, I can only do so much with a school supplied computer. 

I even have a legal, official version of Windows Home Edition that I brought with me. I refuse to install it on this computer for numerous reasons, but the three most important ones are: 

I don't want to have to go through the headache of setting up the IP stats, etc. to access the university LAN, since I'd have to have one of the school's tech guys come over and do that. 

I don't want to use my legal version on their computer and leave it for someone else to exploit. I paid for the fucking thing and it's mine. While I have the disc and it would allow for me to update everything and make it run swell, I won't be able to remove it and it forces the tech guys to come over and do it – and they will simply keep a working OS on there, which would most likely be mine.

And finally..

It's not my computer to fuck with.

I am going to invest in the parts to build my own home theater pc very soon. It can be done cheaply, efficiently and with few hassles. I will reserve the XP install for that computer. Then again, I might not. I may experiment with Ubuntu. I don't plan on making it an online computer for at least a year, either. It will simply be a fast, compact computer with a large hard drive and DVD burner and HDTV out card. Maybe I'll have a TV input card, too for DVR capabilities, but that remains to be seen. It will simply be a high-powered, high caliber media center.

The school provided me with a decent Lenovo of recent vintage and with respectable RAM and hard drive space (the monitor is shit, though), a nice, large, multi-standard (NTSC and PAL) TV, a decent DVD player (low end and not capable of MP4 playback, but it is alright with DVDs. VCDs and MP3s), but I demand more for my personal entertainment. I am not unrealistic, and never once expected anything comparable to, nor above what the school has generously, graciously provided (the DVD player and large TV are new, and the computer is only a year old and fast). I am doing this for myself. 

For my survival.

I enjoy traveling and going out on the town, but I also like to save some money and stay in. I require entertainment to do that. Call it moderation. 

Something tantamount to survival while working abroad is being able to turn your accommodations into a proverbial “womb.” Since you are far from home you need a place that is safe, secure, accommodating and containing the things that will provide you respite on the days you just need to chill out.

For me, that's a solid AV set up that can meet my demands.

Not only did I bring my own entertainment, I also enjoy the plethora of DVDs available here, and downloads on the internet. This applies to podcasts, streams, rips, etc.

A home theater PC with a decent TV card would allow me to play DVDs, VCDs, and all manner of audio and video files while having the option to watch the local channels on offer. While the selection on offer is mostly CCTV shit (only CCTV's movie channel is worth watching, and that is for its older Chinese films only) and provincial channels (which have the interesting habit of running some cool films uncut- yet commercially interrupted – and often with English subtitles or in English) are hit-or-miss, occasionally something interesting will cross my path. Mainland TV, like American television is nothing but talk shows, soap operas, propaganda and other mind numbing crap. Occasionally it captures my interest, but not too often. Still, I like to have the option of checking it out when and if I desire.

So, a nice, widescreen monitor, an ATX tower with 4gb RAM, a powerful, duo core processor, HDTV out card, TVT card, DVD burner, and a terabyte of hard drive space, and a small surround sound speaker system is what I require. All can be had with a month's paycheck. 

One more month of “eating bitter,” to be able to have the comfortable accouterments I can take with me. Since I think I will be in China for a good while, it is an investment I will make. One month of scraping by in exchange of a few years' worth of joy, comfort and entertainment: it's definitely worth it. 

Of course, I'm already on an austerity budget from having to pay a fortune to get my shit from Wenzhou to my current province/city/university. I also got some fresh ink, had some fun while traveling, entertained a guest from Wenzhou while they were in my province, and then had some start up costs to incur. So, I've been broke since the start of August, and will be scraping by until my first significant payday, after which I will continue to scrape by until my second payday in October/November. After that I can save a good chunk of change and live high off the hog with the rest. 

At least I have no debts. Being debt free is a joy. Now to build that nest egg.

Anyway, the blog entry taht got lost in the ether dealt with the Bachman murder/racist attack in Beijing, more hopes for China, my current situation, my current home, and some other topics but it's dead. I spent a LONG time writing the missive and it's gone. Forever. I will not go back and try to capture “lightning” twice. Maybe I will revisit the topics I addressed, but it will be a while.

Oh, I've lost interest in writing much about Wenzhou anymore, but I may attempt an admittedly weak piece on the city itself. It won't be close to what I had intended, but once I arrived in my new home (still in China) I started having a really good time and have fallen in love with my new local. I'd rather not spend so much time living in the past. Wenzhou and the City College of Wenzhou University were a tremendous waste of time. Should you never end up in Wenzhou your life will be better for it. Should you fall into its arms, well, look at it as a period of time where all you did was spin your wheels. Chalk it up to wasted time.

Anyway, back to the main topic: I'm dealing with computer bullshit right now. Microsoft are cocksuckers. Apple are cocksuckers. Firefox has become buggy because of cocksuckers, and if your school gives you a pirated OS (and they will) make sure they give you a backup disc. If not, then expect headaches or invest in alternatives.

Now, the countdown to a groovy HTPC begins!

Photo: The Associated Press.

Color me supremely impressed. While I don't give a flying fuck about the events in any olympiad (the IOC and bullshit politics behind it have seen to that), being in China (with a pretty sweet, new, nice-sized TV in my apartment) I couldn't help but check out what my current home had up its sleeves to usher in their big day.

Under the creative direction of Zhang Yimou, I had expected to see something thoughtful and charming, but man alive he took the tens of thousands of workers and the billions of dollars the boys in Beijing would give him and he pulled out all the stops.

An impressive, colorful capsule of China is what he delivered, complete with kung fu, space men, flying sprinters, song, dance, comedy and production values that rivaled anything Cecil B .DeMille could ever have come up with, and more firepower than several hundred Fourth of Julys. Only the most bitter, jaded, cynical, mouth breathing, misanthropic, jaundiced cocksucker could slag last night's spectacle for its entertainment value, let alone its significance.

Could China have spent its money wisely to help aid its citizens while still having a shock'n'awe opening ceremony? Fuck yes, but guess what? All has been said and done and in the end I think last night's event will not only go down as an artistic milestone for Zhang Yimou and multimedia performance art, but it will also go down in Chinese history as the beginning of China's next stage of development. If that development is for the better or for worse: time will tell.

One thing is certain, when the annoying shit pop anthem of "We are ready," was being put into the propaganda pipeline: Beijing wasn't bullshitting.

China not only impressed its citizens, but it has put the world on notice. Last night proved that not only is China ready to show you that it's a world superpower and that it means business, but it is not the droll, gray, fuckified cultural revolution throwback the western press and right wing, racist, culturally elitist, religious zealot pundits and bat shit crazy leftist dipshits claim it is. It can be as glorious and significant as any nation. This is not to say it can't also be a malevolent force to be reckoned with.

It is up to both the world and China to make a new, "great leap forward" into the 21st century. I believe it wants to be a positive influence on its own terms. The problem is that it must put as much effort into its infrastructure and in how it conducts itself on the world stage as it did into letting the world know that it's no longer pulling the proverbial rickshaw. Last night is a polite reminder that China has told the world that it too is ready to kick back and ride.

Just as important as China stepping up to bring balance to its severe economic disparity, it is important for the world to realize that certain notions it held about China were wrong and they need to change. Despite the tremendous economic disparity and the long road China has ahead of itself when it comes to developing all of its infrastructure, it is not a complete backwater as our own propagandists in the west would have us think. You will find the first world next to the stone age here. While focusing all of the attention on the sad reality of why stone age conditions continue to exists, the world needs to take proactive steps to recognize the first world technology and the first world possibilities that exist here as well. It needs to stop missing the forest for the trees.

In regards to China: it is time for the world to modernize its thinking. In case the world forgot, last night's magnificent display was merely an artistic reflection that slowly, China has taken steps to modernize its thinking.

Gone is Mao's China. What you saw last night was the culmination of the one figure that I believe will stand as the most important figure in Chinese history: Deng Xiaoping. Love him or hate him, he started the ball rolling out of the quagmire of the cultural revolution's detritus. Do not be fooled by the omnipresent, George Washington-like portraits of the Chairman. It's lip service. This is not your father's China or his father's China. This is the China you are living with and it's a member of the world community.

It IS ready.

My sincere hope is that the rocky road ahead fosters a greater role for China to play as a member of the world community, and to its people. It will not be easy. It will not be pleasant. It will be difficult and it will have as many tragedies as it will triumphs.

As a citizen of the world, it is my sincere hope that the rest of the developed world looks at today and works towards a better tomorrow with China, rather than live within the comfort zone of outdated notions that no longer apply.

China doesn't want or need your kid gloves. It simply needs you to understand it. Additionally, China needs to truly begin to understand the rest of us.

Anyway, you put on a good show China. Enjoy your first steps into the new world.

This morning  received a text message from the City College of Wenzhou University FAO liason today, informing me that there will be no power in the University town from five in the morning until two in the afternoon on Saturday morning (had this been Alice then I'd never have been informed of this impending pain in the ass).

This is the tenth power outage in this shithole wasteland, armpit of of hell in about a month. Power outages are not uncommon in China, but the frequency of so many power outages in one place in such a short time IS uncommon in the country.

It's just another slice of misery heaped upon the mile-high shit sandwich that life in the "Wenzhou University Town" of Chashan is all about. Of course, it's swelteringly, unforgivably hot, humid, polluted and hazy every fucking day, and during finals week this is a tremendous, "fuck you, cocksucker," to every student/resident of this wasteland from the incompetent, primitive, mouth breathing, poorly educated, jingoistic hick-troglodytes in the Chashan government.

Of course, my final weeks in this rancid shithouse couldn't pass without at least one outage of water and/or electricity. I'm sure more on the horizon, too. I cannot wait to leave this shithole and I don't mince words when I express my sincere hope that every single living being is forcibly removed from these hellish acres and flamethrowers are set upon every piece of earth and construction in this dump.

Torch the whole fucking place, level it, and then rebuild it from scratch and get shit right they were too incompetent to do right the first time.

Do it, once and for all.

I can't wait to get out of here. I will both spit and piss on the grounds before I leave and wish a pox upon this hellhole.

I have never lived in a place worse than this. If anyone reading this plans on "living" (if you can call it "living") and working in this abyss after reading my missives: you deserve every piece of hell you willingly subject yourself to. You've been warned.

"Wenzhou University Town" and Chashan equal the great shithole of China.

T-minus ten days and I am emancipated from this hell on earth. I was going to purchase my train ticket out of this dump tomorrow (since you can only purchase your rail tickets about a week/week-and-a-half in advance), but since the entire area will be without power I will have to venture to the train station in the city and do it. Of course, every single train station is a clusterfuck of chaos, incompetence, inconvenience and despair.

Kind of like Chashan...

It is now July. The summer has arrived. It is hot, humid and hazy in Wenzhou, Zhejiang Province, the People's Republic of China. In the wasteland known as Chashan, nestled in the "Wenzhou University Town," students are completing their final exams before heading to their collective homes for the semester break. Some will work, some will study,  and some will enjoy their free time. All of the foreign instructors working for the Wenzhou Medical College, Wenzhou University, Oujang College (Wenzhou University's private college), and the City College of Wenzhou University (a private college that gloms off of Wenzhou University; rents the majority of its campus, brings in the most money out of all of the schools in the "town" and uses its leverage to legally sponsor foreign workers while Wenzhou University happily accepts its cash to keep itself afloat) have completed their duties for the semester.


It goes without saying that all are relieved. None more so than me.

My duties for the "City College" of Wenzhou University ended shortly after noon on Friday, June 27th. I handed in my attendance rosters and final grades. The school paid me my final month's salary and reimbursed me the entire cost of my flight to this boring little region of Zhejiang province. I am simply killing time, catching up on sleep, checking out more of Wenzhou city proper (a good hour away by bus from the hellish wasteland of Chashan; a shithole nestled way out in the Ouhai district and removed from civilization), having some piss ups, doing some shopping, doing some packing, and saying goodbyes. While I am not leaving China, I am leaving Wenzhou and Zhejiang in a few weeks. My flight's booked, a train ticket must be purchased  and some luggage must be shipped in advance, but I have a lucrative university job awaiting me in another province far removed from here.

This time it's a public university. So far the Foreign Affairs Officer at my next destination is a total professional and very communicative. It's a 180 degree turn from the hell that working under the City College of Wenzhou University's foreign affairs officer "Alice" has been. I have my theories on just how and why "Alice" got the position at the City College of Wenzhou University, but I'll keep them to myself. I cannot prove those theories and I will not liable the woman (even though she's an unprofessional, incompetent, selfish, lazy, disrespectful, conniving, lying, mean spirited sadist who seems to get off on misery and did her best to fuck me over at every turn during my semester here: from my hiring until I had to request my leave several times).

With the "university town" being so far removed from civilization a major negative, Wenzhou has revealed itself to be a boring, unremarkable city (far from the worst city I've lived in); the biggest thorn in my side and the root of every single problem during my stay has been Alice Ji Yueyue. I hope I never encounter another FAO like her, and if the university were to see how deliberately mean spirited and incompetent she is with their foreign teachers then they'd be better off without her. The school loses two teachers as this semester concludes and have had to resort in hiring ("exploiting?") a no-doubt soon-to-be-overworked/underpaid Filipino instructor to cover the loss of three teachers (as I've stated previously, the school wanted to have five foreign English teachers at all times but have only been able to maintain four at the best of times. Now they're stuck with three.). Two of the three instructors the college will have next year came as a couple and should they leave: the school will be fucked. I'm sure at that time Alice's incompetence, laziness and inability to be honest with anyone will come to bite her on the ass and she'll be out of a job. By that time the college will be down to one lonely teacher they're exploiting from the third world, and Alice will likely be unable to appease the administration who really seem to want to make their various English programs work.

One polluted view of the main drag of Chashan: The Wenzhou "University Town."

For the most part, had Alice been honest, easy to contact, kept the foreign teachers informed, and actually given a shit about her job (she worked to appease her Chinese superiors but went well out of her way to fuck over the foreign teachers to the point of  sabotaging a coworker's vacation plans and to literally toss his e-tickets into the trash every time he submitted them. She did the same with my e-tickets, but I had to fight to make sure someone got them) I'd probably have stuck around for the entire year, as I had intended to do. While she may have fulfilled her duties for the administration, she failed (deliberately?) to remember that her job required her to work with the school AND the foreign teachers.

Maybe she said "F" the "F" in "FAO?" Well, "F" her. I am glad that I no longer have to deal with her and the shitstorms her xenophobia creates.

I will say this; the Vice President, Mr. Xie: he was fair to me. He was always polite and honest with me. While he never came out and spoke negatively of the school, etc., he did treat me with respect, dignity and as a thorough professional, as did Vicky Suen, the lady in charge of the English portion of the Economics department. She always made time to talk to me, to answer my questions, and help set up meetings with Mr. Xie. If only Alice was half as professional as Mr. Xie or Vicky then things could have worked out better for the school.

Shit hit the fan so much with Alice that I was eventually given a mediator. Her name is Tina Lee and she's as adorable in person as she is professional in her duties. She was very communicative and worked hard to answer questions. She never bullshitted me and she took the time to explain things. If Tina were the FAO I think the school would be better for it. They would have a hard working, dedicated team member who understands the balance such a job demands and would earn the institution "face," as a result. However, right now, the current FAO,  Alice Ji, simply buries the fucking place into an abyss of negativity.

Anyway, moving on...

I will miss many of my students. Not all. Some I simply never got to know well. A few were selfish, spoiled, indignant, rude and disrespectful mother fuckers, but there were many who turned out to be good people and I wish them the best.

To slightly go off topic for a moment: the students who were kind enough to allow me to photograph their funky t-shirts that end up on this blog are good kids. I obscure their faces out of respect: I feel I need to make this clear since I failed to do so previously.

Back to the main topic....

I will miss the expat friends I have made here, and the (far-too-few) close, personal Chinese friends I have made here. I'll miss a couple of the restaurants here, including the Lanzhou ramen shop across the street from my current apartment (not the one located down on the Chashan strip. Those cocksuckers were alright and would have had me as a regular but their greed blinded them and they opted for instant cash instead of long term business that would have netted them far more than the 20RMB they once overcharged me. They can learn a lesson from the honest, respectful competition across the street from my apartment, who not only won my loyalty, but have earned a few thousand RMB from me. I like their cuisine, their patient nature, solid service and the fact they haven't/didn't/don't seek to rip me off. EVER). Sadly, that's about all I'll miss from the "University Town." I wish there was more to wax poetic about, but Chashan is the drizzling shits.

Coming Next: Wenzhou City.

Never underestimate the value of running water. Even in China where it is pretty much impossible to drink from the tap because they've poisoned their water into oblivion (thus necessitating chemicals that render it usable for washing and cleaning, but not even remotely potable). Even if you're outside of China: running water is the first brick of convenience in a comfortable existence.

Imagine my surprise (read: EXTREME PREJUDICE) a few weeks back  when I was rinsing off dishes only to observe the tap dribble out of service! Sure enough, after checking the bathroom taps I was without water. Wondering if it was an isolated issue, I headed downstairs to a coworker's apartment to see if their water was running. They checked their kitchen tap and claimed it was (it wasn't. They simply encountered the residual water left in their tap, as they'd later admit.). I proceeded to try and call my "go-to" person at the university: the Foreign Affairs Officer.

Since first arriving for work at the end of February, the fact that my F. A. O. shuts her phone off in the evening has been a constant thorn in my side. At first I dismissed this as her "right," but when I had my first emergency (of many, with the apartment's wonky bathroom) my first week into the semester - I could not contact this university-appointed nanny in any way, shape, or form: I knew shit was going to come to a head down the line.

If someone is assigned to assist you during the event of an emergency they should be doing their fucking job. Of course, the cunt assigned to the job simply refused to do anything for the foreign teachers. She was too busy doing nothing at her parents' apartment in the heart of the city proper.  My first week in she had a student (without a clue about the local area) show me around the city and campus. This was a tremendous waste of time. It was as effective as not having anyone "assist" me. In fact, it cost me a lot of money because the student, hell bent on helping me (sincerely, despite being incompetent in doing so), would only allow me to buy cheap, poorly made products that shit the bed within 24 hours of procuring them. These were products necessary to my daily life at this college. Had the F. A. O. done her job and actually helped me I probably would have wasted less time and money and had a handle on things immediately.

So, the checks on my mental shit list against the F. A. O. quickly began accumulating after this non-welcome:

A.) She could not be reached for emergencies and I was given no other contacts should an emergency arise. In fact, she placed all of that in the lap of the other foreign teachers at the school despite such duties being part of her fucking job. This didn't sit well with me because I realized if I was in a medical emergency NOBODY would be able to help me, specifically the ONE PERSON WHOSE JOB IT IS TO HELP ME.

B.) When it came to doing anything with the foreign teachers she passed the buck to others, none of whom were helpful despite wanting to be because they had NO FUCKING CLUE what they were doing. Instead of dong any of the actual work herself, she would be out fucking around town while the foreign teachers had to struggle with no assistance or with "assistance" that was actually more of a setback than of any actual help. The only work she did herself was the administrative paperwork and that's because she'd have to answer to her Chinese superiors.

C.) I was not given all of the apartment appliances promised in my contract. Despite asking for them, she had me waiting over two months and NEVER delivered most of what I was guaranteed. Eventually I had to go over her head to get even the most simplest of requests fulfilled. She'd then give me (and fellow FTs) grief for doing this.

D.) All of this piles atop her dubious, duplicitous hiring. She never mentioned the actual school or classes I would be teaching when she hired me. She actually lied to me on virtually ever inquiry. So, retroactively, she had been duplicitous since day one, and that only fanned the fires of hatred towards her that were slowly being stoked by her perpetual lying and incompetence.

E.) When the ENTIRE CAMPUS was having its water shut off for a weekend she NEVER informed any of the foreign teachers despite knowing about this a full week in advance and despite it being her job to inform us.

F.) After the water was "turned on," my 6th floor apartment (barely 4 years old yet resembling a building 20 years old and functioning like a building that was 50 years old) was without water for over two days. I was unable to contact the F. A. O. about this, and when I finally did, she sent a COLLEGE STUDENT to deal with it. Of course, the student could do nothing but confirm I was FUCKED.

This list continues to grow as the days continue to pass. I am seriously thinking about quitting at the end of this semester. I doubt the school gives a shit, and clearly they won't replace Alice: the fucking cunt who deliberately tosses away airline tickets but pretends you never gave them to her when you inquire about the status of your airfare reimbursement. She's so fucking lazy she is reportedly going  to rely on middle men (recruiters) to get teachers for the school. This comes after her successfully chasing away one of my coworkers (who has claimed he will never work for this university or any of its affiliated "colleges" if he ever decides to return to China), and ensuring that I won't be sticking around for a second semester.

I want to negotiate a change in my contract. Alice (the FAO) is a sociopathic, duplicitous, xenophobic, incompetent, spiteful moron. The students at the university are the most uninspired students I have ever taught. Not all, but a vast majority. Many run around campus on their bicycles, mopeds, and Peugeots and deliberately attempt to chase people off the paths. They treat classrooms as garbage cans (the garbage cans are actually cleaner than the classrooms on campus!), and have no respect for their teachers. The university has handed the "asylum," over to the "inmates," and the Chinese teachers know it.
I've seen students smoking in classrooms and hallways, tossing garbage anywhere they please in the classroom, and some verbally and physically harass other students and teachers. My students fear me and generally don't start shit with me because I will give them back what they dish out. They know this. However, the Chinese teachers fear for their job security, and my foreign colleagues have no clue how to handle such miscreants.

You can't even eat in peace in the "teacher's canteen," because students will walk past you and shout out English insults. Of course, the Chinese teachers ignore it (even though students aren't allowed to eat in the teacher's canteen).

So, Alice the cunt, listless students, indifferent colleagues (Chinese and fellow expatriates), a totally shit location with piss poor transit and completely fuck all to do except inhale the heavy, gray polyurethane smoke that is omnipresent in the air, the shit curriculum, and numerous days without water have collective taken their toll.

Once this semester ends: I want out.

I want a public university that isn't located in a dump, far removed from the city. I want to work in a public university where I am teaching English majors. I want a foreign affairs officer who does their job. I want to live in an area where water isn't out one to two days a month for several hours. I want decent, reliable public transit that comes and goes from the university. I want classrooms that are actually cleaned. I want students who realize that university is a privilege and that they are there to better themselves and not hang out like they're in summer camp.

So, I am ready to get the fuck out of this shit hole. I have no doubts there are places far worse than here, but I KNOW there are places far better for me, my talents, my life, and my sanity.

***It is ironic that the only shitty picture my cellphone ever snapped happened when I was on the way to a class in April. Here, cafeteria workers from the college wash their mops in the fetid, stagnant, smelly, thoroughly polluted, green algae-filled swamp that makes up the campus "lake." It was the day I decided never again to eat in the university's canteen.***

The paperwork has been completed. An express courier is delivering the documents to my next place of employment (in a larger city located in another province far from here, and for a public university located in an actual city, not in some polluted, shithole no-man's-land far removed from the city its University and "City College" attaches its name onto!). Hopefully it will arrive at its destination just as this week's Dragon Boat Festival concludes on Monday.

***That is burning plastic, not fog (despite what one ditzy, bat shit crazy Canadian Christian Kook will tell you if you are unlucky enough/ dumb enough to work here).***

I wish I had more time to rest and coast through the semester, but finals are being administered in three weeks, so there's no rest for the weary. To make matters worse there is no water in my apartment. This, after I moved from one school supplied shithole after suffering weekly water outages for three months. Back when I lived in the first shitbox I informed the school they broke the contract when I went over 48 hours without water. They moved me to new(er) digs (located on the actual campus and not in a compound of dorms) and the "university town" water outages are still fucking with me. This campus is perpetually "under construction," and it leaves everything a dirty, dusty, dangerous mess. I cannot dry my clothes on my balcony without a layer of dirt caking them from the nearby construction. My balcony cannot be cleaned because the dirt collected over the day renders it muddy as the water dries.

Despite being in a no-man's-land, the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife. The smell of burning plastic is omnipresent, and despite how beautiful and fog-like these pictures may look, that's NOT FOG, but SMOG. Cancerous, burning plastic SMOG. Of course, out of all of the students and teachers in this "university town," only the female half of the retired Canadian Christian Cuckoos (who are probably going to sign on for a third year in the winter - the ONLY teachers this college can keep. It comes as no surprise: they blow off contract violations, don't teach their kids anything valuable unless it comes from the bible, and are in the school's pocket figuratively and literally) remains insistent that it's fog, despite the fact that it is regularly 80 degrees around here and defies the basic, scientific principles that define the occurrence of fog. Mind you, fog appears close to the ground and rarely goes as far as the sky is high.

***That mountain is less than 1/2 a mile away and is about 14 - 20 stories above the ground.***

Fog  doesn't smell like burnt plastic, churchy!

Since starting this missive, the water has returned to my apartment. It runs brown. It's literally muddy. Dirt is collecting on the floor as I run the shower in hopes of clearing the pipes. I am now running to and fro flushing the toilet until the water runs clear, running the tap until the water runs clear, running the shower until it runs clear, etc. I am so fucking sick of this. I've endured over 20 fucking days in five months where I have had water shut off; 40 if you include shit pressure or temporary shut offs. It's inexcusable. This is what future suckers will encounter should they be tricked into, or dumb enough to knowingly agree to move here. Now I know why the nearby Medical College houses its foreign teachers downtown, in the city proper (they bus them in for work 4 days a week. Apparently they care about keeping their guest instructors living with some comfort, convenience and a degree of happiness).

July cannot come soon enough.

I tried my best. I was suckered. I was lied to. I kept on. By my first month I realized shit was not good. I still tried. I put up with a lot. I've been in worse situations, but the combination of being outright lied to, being sacked with a Foreign Affairs Officer who is a selfish, pathological liar bent on doing her best to not do anything for the foreign teachers, and an overwhelming majority of students who didn't give a shit about their education in any way (and an administration that realized this but did nothing to change things), indifferent coworkers, spiteful local coworkers who wanted nothing to do with foreign coworkers, and the Canadian Christian Cuckoos who are spies for the school, get paid a lot of dough for doing nothing to actually improve students' English yet give major face to the school by doing all manner of side work for them (and went out of their way to be apologists for why the FAO refused to do her job and then claim to "know" what their fellow foreign teachers were, "going through," despite never actually getting to know them) - IT IS FUCKING INSANE.

I came into this gig with an open mind and a realistic, open heart. I had a desire to work hard and have fun. Within the first month half of those feelings changed. By the middle of the semester 90% of those feelings were gone. As this semester draws to a close: all of it is gone. I will administer finals, but my heart isn't into it. That is not to say I have given up on my job or given up on China. Not at all! I have simply given up on this school, which never even gave a damn about me, or fellow foreign coworkers surviving their terms at the main university proper, the "city college," and its "foreign language college." In fact, here's the score:

I am leaving at the end of this semester. I am moving to a better city, a better (public!) school, better pay, etc.

One of my fellow foreign teachers is packing it up after a year and returning to their country. Had things been better they probably would have signed on for another semester or another year, but they too cannot wait to get the fuck out of here. Like me, they were treated like shit in favor of the Canadian Christian Cuckoos.

Rather than keep four happy teachers the school preferred to placate the fundamentalist retirees.

The school wanted five foreign teachers for this semester but had to make do with four. Now they are left with two and supposedly one more will come in after the two of us exit. Seeing how the school has not been recruiting online I strongly suspect the Canadian Christian Cunts have brought in a fellow Canuk churchy. Three teachers when they need at least five. They would have been able to retain one teacher (me!) and had four if they cracked down on their sociopathic FAO and shitcanned her ass.

I think I failed to mention that there are hundreds of students who were supposed to have foreign teachers for their classes this semester but the school fell short of the fifth foreign teacher. So, as a result they have had none. Now they are short two and may only have three (assuming the "teacher" actually shows up).

The main university (the only public school  here, and the one that runs 4 of the five universities/colleges/institutes in this "university town") is losing one foreign teacher and barely have any longterm foreign instructors as it is. Their sole foreign teacher is moving over to the nearby medical college because the university refused to negotiate new contract stipulations.

Another native speaker at the main university's actual private college (as opposed to mine, which pays to use the name of the major university and uses them to sponsor foreign teachers, but is run with complete autonomy. It's the black sheep of this "University Town.") has been here for three months and is already talking about moving on. Contractual shit hasn't been delivered to them and they hate this no-man's-land shithole. They also realize they can make more money elsewhere, be treated well, and live in cleaner, safer, and more interesting environs.

The other foreign teachers in town are not native speakers. One is supposedly getting the boot because he is a creepy motherfucker. I've met the guy and I can assure you that he indeed is a creepy motherfucker and reminds me of Kurt Raab's eccentric murderer in Tenderness of the Wolves (1973). Rumor has it that he spooked more than a few students with his anti-social behavior, know-it-all demeanor, and lack of social/motivational skills. Never mind the fact he worked here for three years straight. Eccentricity trumps loyalty.

Creepy Marcel.

So, shit's getting weird here. I can't wait to get out. I want to leave behind the madness and indignity of wasting five months here, but I will miss the handful of friends I managed to make in this limboland. I'll do my best to keep in touch with them, but very rarely do people keep in touch with em as frequently as I keep in touch with them. That's the nature of this biz: good friends while you're around and a good memory when you're gone. I wish I could say the same about this wasteland I've been living in.


***A note: this post was originally written back when the dragon boat festival holiday was starting, but for some reason I never got around to posting it until June 23, when I noticed it had been saved as a "draft."